A Matter of Fact

I can't imagine what it would be like to be the only male in a household of three females. And especially ours. Drama is already a given, and being that two of these females are very young, it can only make me wonder what things will be like when those two little girls are teenagers and start getting PMS.

Tonight, Josh stated that the three of us can be, um, somewhat of a job. And then the light bulb moment hit him:

"That's exactly what the three of you girls are. A J-O-B. Jenna. Olivia. Beatrice. JOB."

Eh, I guess he got it right, huh? Only we see ourselves as the best damn job he could ever have.

The Day In Which I Spoke In Front of 200 People

I've mentioned my work situation and how busy I've been. Well, that all came to a close last Wednesday. Still busy, but the ginormous main thing of it all happened Wednesday. Big announcement. Highly important. I dealt with most all of the communications efforts for this thang.

So, about ten minutes before a company-wide presentation is being made, it has come to our attention that there is no moderator. By the time I'm found, I'm told that I will need to do it. Uh. Crap. Me is not a public speaker as I will skipsy all over my words or start to babble with some weird fillers. No way. I cannot remember the last time I spoke to a room with more than six or seven people. 200? No.

I was thinking I might just go hide somewhere, like the bathroom, but I knew I would be found. And, well, that just wouldn't be professional of me, now would it? My whole time in front of everyone might last a couple of minutes max. Basically, doing an introduction was what I was going to be doing. These types of things I can mess up so easily, and not to mention, it was going to be recorded. There is nothing in the world that freaks me out more.

Then, if you've seen the movie Bridget Jones, then you will know what I am talking about. In the movie, she does an introduction for an author and has a nickname for him. Instead of Fitzherbert as his last name, her head is telling her "Titspervert". Or something like that because it's been a while since I have seen the movie. In any case, I was a bundle of nerves for the entire five minutes of knowing about this and possibly stuttering in front of everyone or turning beet red or screwing up someone's name.

Technical issues came up right before this whole thing was supposed to take place. I was told to ask the audience - my co-workers - to simmer down. Now we are looking at twice I am going to have to get up in front everyone. Have mercy.

In order to get everyone's attention, I start waving my hands in the air. I was good and ready to start jumping up and down or doing a cartwheel or something when one nice man did one of those ear piercing whistles. Or, maybe he just yelled. I cannot remember. I could feel my beating heart throughout my entire body (as this happens everytime I have to do some sort of public speaking). And then something inside me clicked:

"Good afternoon, everybody. For those who don't know me, my name is Jenna and I am [insert title here] at [insert company here]. As you know we have a very exciting announcement that we want to give you full details on. We are having a bit of technical difficulties, and it will take just a few minutes to fix. If everyone can keep the noise level down, we would appreciate it and will begin the presentation in just a few moments."

Then stares. Then maybe crickets. Maybe a "free bird" somewhere out there in the audience. I don't know. Then people smiled. And started talking again. Whatever. I should have used the words "simmer down". No, I shouldn't have. I was clearly a professional, right? Anyway, did you see those words that came out of my mouth? No way. How did that happen?

Anyway, what seemed like an eternity later, our head honcho walks in the room, and I'm pointed at to get this show on the road. Thank gawd. So up I go in front of everyone again, and here is what I say:

"Good afternoon, everyone. Jenna from [department] here again. Before we begin the presentation, there are just a few things I need to let you know. For those on the conference call [I won't bore you with all the details/instructions here]....

...Okay, so I know that I'm not the one you want to hear from today, right? That would be [head honchos name]. So without further adieu, here he is, the man of the hour - [head honcho]."

There was clapping. Not for me, sillies. But before the clapping, at the part where I say I am not the one they want to hear from, there was some laughter. Did moi make a little jokey there? I guess. Sort of. I did not rehearse any of this since I only had five minutes of lead time. I was given four little itty bitty bullets to make sure that I covered and those were the instruction-related portion of the spiel. I ad-libbed the entire thing, hoping and telling myself to attempt to look professional and not come off as an idiot and PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GAWD, do not turn red. Mission: accomplished.

What I really want to say here is that I really, truly just hit a major career milestone. Not with my little announcement there, but the whole thing that surrounded it. I learned something through all of this, and when I thought that I just couldn't take any more of this work, the end result was truly amazing. Never in my life have I had so many executives and the like come up to me and tell me what a fine job I did, with talking in front of everyone and with everything I did for this thing to happen. It took so much out of me. So much...indeed. And, perhaps you will completely understand when I tell you that this whole thing...well, it was a bit like being engaged again and having one month to plan an entire wedding. And then the wedding happens, and the day after you are left with "What in the world do I do now?"

That's it, exactly.

I'm not really one to boast about myself much, but it has been a long time where I've done something that I am truly proud of. I am so proud of this because it was a personal accomplishment, something I never thought I would be a part of, and I made it through in one piece with more kudos than I ever could have imagined. If I must say - Go, me!

Waiting, Always

As bedtime comes, the girls are tucked away into their beds and receive numerous kisses and hugs while we secretly hope that it doesn’t take them long to get to the land of slumber.

And then we wait. The wait can last for nearly two hours or it can be unusually short at ten minutes. This wait. It will continue every evening until the girls are out on their own and in charge of their own lives. Whether it is waiting for them fall asleep or waiting for them to come home from a date or some other activity. I will always be waiting. I will always be awake.

As I wait, I will divide my time up in doing some things around the house. The whole time I will wonder how long I will wait on this particular evening.

And then silence. The wait lingers on until I know for sure that dreamland has begun.

When the wait is over, I always go into their room. I always re-tuck them in to make sure they are warm. I always give them another kiss on their cheek or forehead. I always whisper “I love you” into their ears.

Sometimes they’ll be upset that I’ve disrupted them for a moment. Sometimes one of them will toot from the disruption. Sometimes one of them will smile. And sometimes one of them will whisper “mmmm…I love you, too, mama.”

As life can be so chaotic at times, it is this one time of the day where I am able to appreciate what I have, with a clear head. My little family. All under the same roof. All safe in their beds.

If waiting gets me to these “always” moments for years to come, I will wait. Always.

Quirky

I was tagged by Mariana at the private blog of “The Schuller Family” to talk about 6 quirky things about me. It literally took me a week to come up with this list, and I've only got 5. Because, me? Quirky? I guess that means weird, right? Well, here’s what I’ve come up with:

1. The only way I like to drink soda is in a cup (prefer glass, but hard plastic will do), and with ice. But, once the ice starts melting, forget it. I do not like the waterish concoction that forms at the top if I am not using a straw.

2. When I find or receive a piece of jewelry that I love, I will wear it for long periods of time. I have worn the same necklace now for a year and a half, with the exception of wearing my (favorite) pearls to a special occasion once or twice in the last year.

3. I don’t like slides. Ever since an incident that happened back in 1996. I am flat out scared of them.

4. I prefer Target instead of Wal-mart. I prefer Banana instead of Gap. I prefer the Gilroy and Napa outlets instead of any mall. I prefer i-tunes over buying any CD.

5. After I drop the kids off at daycare, I come home and clean – and then go to work. Not clean, like dust and mop, but straighten it up. I like to come home to a clean house, and I like to go to work knowing the house is clean.

Okay, so this isn’t the best list of quirkiness ever created, but I really don’t feel quirky. I’m normal, and what some would describe as boring. But I like me that way.

I’m not going to tag anyone, but if you feel quirky and have a list, I’d like to see it.

A Little Bit Shady

Wall of shame post, right here.

In the past two days there are a couple of things I've done that might be on the side of "what in the world has gotten into ya, woman." The first, not such a big deal.

Confession #1:
My workload is insane. My superior is out on business travel and calls me about all the items on my plate and to see if I am okay. I tell him I'm "chill" with the workload. Yes, I used the world chill. And he laughed, because it was me and I can be kind of open and honest about everything and tell it like it is. But, chill? I'm not so sure what got into me. Just one of those days, I guess.

Okay, hold on to your hats or pants or what have you for this second one.

Confession #2:
We went to one of the zoos in our neck of the woods yesterday as part of Josh's birthday, and I'm not saying which one lest you report me to zoo authority. Josh forgot his sweatshirt at one of the rides so he went back to get it. Meanwhile, I am at the car with the girls when Bea tells me she has to go to the bathroom. Fortunately, it was #1 and not #2. There wasn't a bathroom remotely close, and I am pretty sure we wouldn't have made it. So, I asked her if she was okay to go right there on the ground, pop a squat style. And she says yes. We are placed between our car and another and I tell her to go and to go quick. There was a lot of pee. And she splashed me a little bit with it. Then, just as we were pulling up her pants, up rolls Josh. I couldn't tell if he was going to burst out laughing or if he was shocked and horrified at what he just witnessed. Did I mention there was a lot of pee? I used water to wash it away a little bit. Definitely not my proudest moment, but I seriously think I am not the only one who has done this.

Okay, I've spilled it. Internets, you gotta share. I don't care what it is - self related, parenting related, work related - something you did that just didn't quite add up as logical in your head after you did it. This is a free zone, and I promise not to tell anyone or judge you in any way. And also, don't make me feel like the only idiot spilling the beans.

Growing Pains

And this isn't about the sitcom with Kirk Cameron.

You know how I get that mild anxiety about being alone with the girls alone for long periods of time? Well, I didn't seem to have it this time with Josh going away. The girls have gotten much easier, and I'm definitely not as fearful as I've been in the past with taking two toddlers out in public. My only worry is if something would happen to them or they get really sick while he's gone. For example, do you remember that time when I had that freak out with Olivia when Josh went to the store with Bea and I ran out in our neighborhood streets with just my slip on? So, that didn't happen while he was gone, but there was something else.

The girls and I had such the busy day yesterday. We went to Target, the dollar store, the park, the merry-go-round, we watched 101 Dalmations, and we made a cake for Josh's birthday. Activities galore. Both girls decided, that nope, they were not going to take a nap. So, 5:30 rolls around and Bea gets all weird, saying her legs hurt and can't get comfortable and is totally moody, but mostly grumpy (and whiney). Both girls were grumpy, but Bea wasn't having anything to do with anything. Normally with no nap the girl is fine until about 7ish with the grumps, so it just seemed odd. I decided at 6:15 or so that she definitely needed sleep. It seemed beyond ridiculous and my patience was running out.

I put both girls in the car and Bea just starts screaming and crying and saying that her legs hurt. I say, "well, i think that your legs are tired. You've done a lot today. I think they need to rest." When I look back on my actions now, I think I was a mean mom. But kids that need naps and don't take naps can sometimes say things to say things, so I just wasn't taking it seriously. She cried for a bit then suddenly she just fell asleep. I drove home and attempted to put her in bed. She, of course, wakes up and starts crying about her legs. She falls back asleep on her own.

An hour later she wakes up and starts screaming. Her legs. They still hurt. I put her in my bed and try to find out what exactly is going on. She just says her legs hurt. So I ask her if something else is wrong and she says "I don't know" through deep, deep sobs. And the sound of her saying that she didn't know what was wrong with her made me somewhat upset and thinking "damn it, what is wrong with her?? The powers that be, let me ask you, what have you done to my child this time to make me worry yet again???" I was a little mad. So, I held her. I told her she should take some tylenol to make her feel better. She wouldn't. Then I told her I was going to call the doctor and she said okay. And she just couldn't calm down. Her legs. They were hurting so much. But nothing else hurt. And no fever. It was straight up odd. She kept saying that she wanted her daddy, too, and that she missed him. And I started to think, well maybe she just misses Josh and is playing a game because she wanted him.

Finally, the doctor calls me back after 45 minutes. We run down everything that's happened with Bea. The doctor says that she seems normal and there wasn't anything that made her legs hurt, no injury or anything. And nope, more than likely she's not sick if she's only getting aches in her legs. And then I get my answer. During the time that a child turns three up until about ten, "growing pains" can come into play. Doctor, tell me more. The muscles in your child grow faster than the bones. When you have a very active child (my Bea as an example), the muscles can develop quicker than the bones, and cause a lot of pain in the calves and knee area. Interesting. Also, the onset of the pain mostly occurs when the child is tired and/or going to bed. The child can also wake up in the early hours of sleep with pain still. Um, yeah. So, Bea has growing pains. And this is probably not the last we've seen of it. Doctor, is there anything I can do to make this less painful on my end? Just tylenol, a warm compress or bath, and massage the area (MASSAGE DID NOT WORK. I TRIED THAT.) So it is nothing serious.

Bea woke up a few times after that, but her bouts of crying in pain were less everytime. She woke up around 10:30ish and said to me, "I miss daddy so much, mommy." And I said, "I know, honey. I miss him, too." And then I told her that he was on his way home and she says, "My legs don't hurt so much now." So I said, "that's good." Hmm...This daddy and leg thing go hand-in-hand? It was just weird. A few hours later she woke me up and said that her legs didn't hurt anymore, and she kind of continued to do that every other hour or so through the night. But, I'm glad she's okay, so I guess we will see if it happens tonight or some other night again in the future.

So, today is Josh's birthday. And we are gonna eat cake.

Work Much?

Huh. I am burnt out. I barely have the time right now to write this. Work is crazy, and all for a good cause, but there has been no time to do much other than bust my butt and put my college degree and crazy marketing skillz to use. Let me just get through it, and I'll be back...but, just some quick updates:

Marathon update: I've run two miles. Okay, not much at all. But, I'll be back in the swing of it soon, and I've got such the awesome playlist to go along with it. Don't give up on me. I'm pledging the walk-a-mile and then run-a-mile attitude.

Bea update: I think she might be in love with my friend's son. We had a bbq with friends on Saturday and those two were like peas in a pod. Either that, or they are the next Bonnie and Clyde.

Olivia update: Still hitting. Still pulling out the drama card. But, she has become quite the conversationalist over the past couple of weeks. It's hard to not give in to a cute drama queen.

Josh update: His birthday is Sunday. He's taking off this weekend to go wheeling with his club. Me, I'll be home working and watching the kiddos until his return either late Saturday or early Sunday.

Vacation update: Shoot. Nothing to report there. Though, when work is all finished with the chaos, I'm seriously thinking about booking a cruise and getting out of dodge for a few days and sucking up some drinks. I'll keep you posted.

Laters.